Our running joke, whenever we transact business with a prospective supplier, goes, "Naku, pasensya na kayo ha, ang arte-arte namin. First time kasi namin ikasal e (Please bear with our frills. We're getting married for the first time, see)." and then smiles and winks everywhere. It usually works! Actually, the phrase was originally of Vincent's. That is just one of those I call the Vincent Abrigo Moments -- instances when he just blurts out what seems to him his normal take on things that to me, is good humor ;-)
And since it's our "first time" to get married (being the firstborns-first timers in our nuclear families at that), we have a lot of Filipino customs and traditions to get through and over with. Marriage rites we only know mostly by name with fleeting orientation. Of the many "needle eyes", we're at least done with the pamanhikan last Saturday. But prior to that night, we really had no idea as to how the formal procedure would go. We saw the occasion as an engagement dinner where families from both sides meet and sit down on the wedding details. Who goes to speak first (the opening statement), we'd only find out until that night and then we'll just have to pick up on cue from there.
Out of sheer curiosity, I tried to do a quick search about this custom. Rita Neri (1998) in her book, The essential wedding workbook for the Filipina, explained the pamanhikan as a Filipino heritage; an occasion when the parents of the engaged couple first learn of their intention to marry and that the parents of the groom formally asks the bride's parents for her hand in marriage. Ideally, the pamanhikan should come first before any formal engagement announcements are done. I have yet to find any references to its origin and history (Binsent, help!) but back in the olden days, especially in the rural Philippines, the parents decide for their engaged children and draw the "terms and conditions" before the bride is finally given away.
Since my father couldn't make it on the evening of the pamanhikan, I mobilized my closest relatives to represent the "red corner". While waiting for the "blue corner" party to arrive, my cousins and I were trading banters and that whatever happens, they're going to demand from them 3 carabaos and one hundred thousand pesos as dowry. Yep. I'm that cheap. Hehehe. What my cousins didn't know was that while I'm all game for this family meeting, my head was ballooning with tension when there is no dire reason to experience that sensation. Apparently, Vincent too (in his text message), was tending his own butterflies in the stomach at that time. I guess they all come last minute.
It turned out to be a very pleasant evening indeed! It was great seeing two families welcoming each other and drawing common denominators along the way. The meeting was brief, probably because Vincent and I have already made plans this early (the wedding is in December). We've even shown them version 1 (naks!) dummy of our invite. His Uncle Bert capped off the gathering by saying, "Ano pa bang dapat pag-usapan? Hindi naman ito tulad noong unang panahon na kailangan pang magsibak ng kahoy at magbayad ng dote ang lalake bago maikasal (What else is there to talk about? It's not like before when the guy would have to chop firewood and offer dowry before he's wed)..." My cousins' smiling eyes connived with mine after which I said, "Ang totoo, 'yan na nga po yung susunod naming sasabihin (Actually, we're just about to go there)..." And then we all laughed.
No cows, no carabaos. Just a hearty dinner of pakbet, chicken pork adobo, pusit, grilled big fish (2kg bonito), pansit sotanghon, cocktail salad, and of course, sweet Zambales mangoes.
And since it's our "first time" to get married (being the firstborns-first timers in our nuclear families at that), we have a lot of Filipino customs and traditions to get through and over with. Marriage rites we only know mostly by name with fleeting orientation. Of the many "needle eyes", we're at least done with the pamanhikan last Saturday. But prior to that night, we really had no idea as to how the formal procedure would go. We saw the occasion as an engagement dinner where families from both sides meet and sit down on the wedding details. Who goes to speak first (the opening statement), we'd only find out until that night and then we'll just have to pick up on cue from there.
Out of sheer curiosity, I tried to do a quick search about this custom. Rita Neri (1998) in her book, The essential wedding workbook for the Filipina, explained the pamanhikan as a Filipino heritage; an occasion when the parents of the engaged couple first learn of their intention to marry and that the parents of the groom formally asks the bride's parents for her hand in marriage. Ideally, the pamanhikan should come first before any formal engagement announcements are done. I have yet to find any references to its origin and history (Binsent, help!) but back in the olden days, especially in the rural Philippines, the parents decide for their engaged children and draw the "terms and conditions" before the bride is finally given away.
Since my father couldn't make it on the evening of the pamanhikan, I mobilized my closest relatives to represent the "red corner". While waiting for the "blue corner" party to arrive, my cousins and I were trading banters and that whatever happens, they're going to demand from them 3 carabaos and one hundred thousand pesos as dowry. Yep. I'm that cheap. Hehehe. What my cousins didn't know was that while I'm all game for this family meeting, my head was ballooning with tension when there is no dire reason to experience that sensation. Apparently, Vincent too (in his text message), was tending his own butterflies in the stomach at that time. I guess they all come last minute.
It turned out to be a very pleasant evening indeed! It was great seeing two families welcoming each other and drawing common denominators along the way. The meeting was brief, probably because Vincent and I have already made plans this early (the wedding is in December). We've even shown them version 1 (naks!) dummy of our invite. His Uncle Bert capped off the gathering by saying, "Ano pa bang dapat pag-usapan? Hindi naman ito tulad noong unang panahon na kailangan pang magsibak ng kahoy at magbayad ng dote ang lalake bago maikasal (What else is there to talk about? It's not like before when the guy would have to chop firewood and offer dowry before he's wed)..." My cousins' smiling eyes connived with mine after which I said, "Ang totoo, 'yan na nga po yung susunod naming sasabihin (Actually, we're just about to go there)..." And then we all laughed.
No cows, no carabaos. Just a hearty dinner of pakbet, chicken pork adobo, pusit, grilled big fish (2kg bonito), pansit sotanghon, cocktail salad, and of course, sweet Zambales mangoes.
