I successfully forced myself to eat my very late lunch about an hour ago. Actually, I scoured the fridge for some leftovers I could call lunch. Kung 'di lang ako ginutom, 'di ako kakain. I was crying over my food, literally and figuratively.
Vincent is off to Berlin for yet another week-LOOOOONG commitment for his org. This is not the first time (and will definitely not be the last for now) that he's off somewhere out of town or across the globe for work, though. When he arrives next Sunday, he'll be hopping the plane one more time two days later for a three-day field work in Bohol ('B' na naman). Given that, I should have been a veteran wife on this department by this time. But no, I haven't gotten used to it. The same nagging sentiment is there every time -- malungkot.
Since his leaving this morning, the awfulness of being left alone again has started creeping in to me. This time, the feeling was more reminiscent of what I felt when I was in Geneva last year -- dreading weekends (to add insult to injury, long weekend is up ahead), eating/cooking dilemmas, seeking pathetic solace on chores...it wasn't the most fantastic feeling of all. I remember contesting to him then that between the two of us, I was the loneliest. That he was luckier than me because whenever he feels like talking to someone, he can always call his friends or cross over to his brothers' house and while his time away; and I didn't have that kind of thing going on the other side of the world. He'd disagree. He said coming home to an empty house everyday for three months was the worst of all the worse feelings you can imagine. It was hard to believe him then, but now I do. I feel the same way. Sure, he'll just be away for a week, but it's the same loneliness I'll have to endure.
Hindi pa rin ako sanay at hindi 'ko alam kung masasanay ako sa ganito. Sunday, come quick! Miss na miss na kita, Bibingko.
We scurry home from work just to catch this. We wouldn't want to miss an episode! 
